I have seen the series called Deathnote, and it is not the kind of anime like, but it holds a great and interesting cliche. When some one holds a power like Light’s, then that person should do it only for the good. But Light just killed each and every single criminal that he coul see on the internet. Why did he do that? Obviousy, he thought he was doing the right thing, gettng rid of every criminal; and then a Shinigami appears, which it reseambles more to a black angel. Now this Shinigami just observes Light’s methods, and he gets the fun in first class; although the ruls of the DEATHNOTE are very strict, but Light always finds a way to make it hapen.

    Light holds an inteligence that is greater than any human, for his study time always has been more than natural. Not only that, he can match the detective called “L” in his own game. Another thing, when SPIDER-MAN gained his powers, why didn’t he just killed every criminal he could see? If SUPERMAN is so strong, why didn’t he kill Luthor long ago? Why didn’t IRONMAN just shoot everbody who tried to kill him? Why didn’t BATMAN kill with his own hand the Jocker? As you can see, every hero has cotroled his own ideas about killing, but why? Because there is a balance in everything, ther must be an equivalent exchange in every single change in the universe. When Light started to kill like crazy he got himself targeted by fate; for his game was only taking lives easily without any work or proof of guilt, and not even that, he killed everyone who got in his way. Light has played with the balance in evil and justice, and he thinks he is justice; but what he doesn’t realize is that he overdid his own notes. Light is a representation of the once inocent mid andthen corrupted because of the gainning of a great power. Light represents the hero that has fallen to the wrong way, and no matter what he won’t stop until he wins his beloved ambition… or he dies.

    Light is a smart person, but the only thing that makes him weak is his ambition, which is not a great one. I see that Light doesn’t have mercy with enyone, and that makes him hated, he can be all-knower and all mighty, but still he took a girl’ life when she was just looking for “him” after his beloved fiance died. Light has a cold heart, and a way to think that everyone who commits crime sould be punished. Well Light, your idea could work, but when a human becomes god, he stops being the ultimate being. Gods never were the ultimate beings, if they were, then why didn’t they appear anymore? If we don’t believe in them, they can’t exist. The Gods need us more than we need them, any God in the world. And now Light, if you plan on being a God, ok then, but trust me, for every God in greece found his last blink; let yourself be corrupted by your power, and feel the wrath of your people. No human should be a God, and no God should be mortal.

What if my life was different? What if something overnatural takes on my living? I’m not talking about powers, or crap about being a hero. I’m taking of what if from the begining we are chosen to help heaven and hell to fight this raging war? Well, angels have the work of looking over the human race, demons have to find souls that are corrupted and twist their minds to go to hell, Arkangels fight for the word of God, they fight for what is God’s willing, but it’s not always the right choice. The Hibrid demons are sent to make some humans crumble their own souls, minds, spirit and own will power. These demons have the power to make you miserable until you sucumb to their willing, which is for you to be their next victim of the new hell army. The human being is a monster.. NO!! Worse than any monster that we have imagined about, the human is an ultimate weapon created to destroy, harm his own species, rip people’s hearts, mutilate animals for fun; in fact, the human being is the only creature in this universe that God is afraid of, his own creation became his own worse nightmare.

    So what if some are chosen to take the decision of being an angel, or a demon? Imagine the balance, mostly they would choose being angels, for their fear would make them do the choice they think is the right one. Others would follow the demons, become one with them, and have their desires of power, wealthy, and luxury filled in their lives. What if I was chosen for this? I wouldn’t take a stand, I would just live my life, enjoy my friendships, laugh out loud, have the passion of love, adrenaline, and all the things those creatures will never feel. But everything has a limit, I know that if I was chosen for that, and I don’t take my righteous choice to any side, then they will come and make me take my decision. I know they would be willing to do anything to make me fall into their damned world, but I know too, that it would be the worst thing in my life. Their methods are to punish you with the people you love, and torture your mind until you have no more will left in your heart. But they would’ve done the worst mistake ever, for I would only take a stand to defend in what I believe, make them suffer breaking bone by bone, ripping their skin off them, blowing their eyes open, spilling their tongues on the floor, smasing their skulls to the walls, cutting their bodies in two, everything they haven’t seen in their lives. I would become, Human’s fears’ worst nightmare. I would fight for the ones I love, I would become a beast against the ones who want to harm my beloved ones, I would give my life for them. God has a fear, but if he would do what I just said, he would have me as his worst fear, his match, the mold in his shoes, the feather that dropped the dominoe masterpiece… His own creation, his own special delivered one, became his worst enemy. And the devil would hear from me too, for I would make him see that evil for me has no limits if he is my enemy, and I would make him kneel and beg for mercy, until I get tiredof him. The only demon I feared was Beelzebub, and if I would become like this, I would be his own match, the only one who will stand against him; The Black Blooded Demon or Angel, for I have no decision over these two sides who twist ou world into madness.

In my pastone girl that mae me fall in love with her broke my heart mercylesly, and after that I felt like the darkness was consuming me, no escape, and no way to feel better. So now I listen to this song, which I never understood, cuz I didn’t know any english. She showed me that song, and I never listened to it after what she did, but now I listen to it, and the whole lyrics made sense ot of the darkness I remember.

I see your face before my eyes
I’m falling into darkness
Why must I fight to stay alive?
Heroes fallen
Wake me can’t you hear me calling
Out of darkness they come crawling

Here I am,
I am Lost in your land
And I hope you will be
Creeping in my soul
Shadows fall, let me out,
hear my call
And I’ll always believe
Creeping in my soul

Creeps from the deep’s
gonna be freaking up your mind
Creeps from the deep’s gonna be
Feeding off the spine

I fade away into the night
My eyes are closing in
Shadows fleeing from the light
My nightmares can begin
Wake me can’t you hear me calling
Out of darkness they come crawling

Here I am I am
Lost in your land
And I hope you will be-
Creeping in my soul

Shadows fall, let me out,
hear my call
And I’ll always believe
Creeping in my soul

Creeping in my soul
It’s getting out of control
I got to find my escape and get out of this black hole
Justice in the world is hard to find
Time has come
Got to make up my mind
No matter how deep or remote you hide
All my thoughts seem caught up inside
Creeps from the deep’s gonna be freaking up your mind
Creeps from the deep’s gonna be
Feeding off the spine

Here I am, I am
Lost in your land
And I hope you will be
Creeping in my soul
Shadows fall, let me out, hear my call
And i’ll always believe
Creeping in my soul

So I realize, that is the way I felt before, creeping in my soul, the darkness fading me away, the demons waitng for my arrival, the angels forgetting my prayers. And noting else to do. I felt al my rage cosuming deep inside my heart, but noboy would help me, I was lost, with no friends, only the mazons thaought me how to unleahs my rage, and it wasn’t pretty. My nightmares can begin it says, out of darkness they come crawiling, but who? My personal demons, my own demon, beelzebub, that damned arkangel demon just made me fear myself. I couldn’t even see darkness close to me. All my family was afraid of the darkness, and i grew afraid cuz of him, and theonly thing that protected me from him, was an alchemy circle, satanic alchemy. I just cut my finger a little, and added it to the circle, and i never had that nightmare again. Basically now I see that this son was meant for me, and now it is my grudge song for my past.

My own enemy

I don’t even know if what I saw was a nightmare, but it left me thinking a lot. I find myself with Miguel Angel, Yaneth and Marcela; an image that i wouldn’t visualize it as possible. But oh well, I was in a park with them, and everything was calm. The trees made teh sun seem crystal-like because of their leaves. For some reason the floor was wet, the sand of the park was totally clean, almost perfect. So Marcela says, “Let me introduce you to someone”, I was’t expecting something like that, but either like who i saw; it was him, it was Rafael. I didn’t mind, but there were both arms, I believed it wasn’t him. Suddenly he gets a long and thin saber, a spanish saber, like the one he used to mark one alchemy circle on one of my lessons. So he swings the saber through the wind, cutting through my clothes; and he only said, “It ends here” and he pushed me down. I stood up and before his saber could be held up, I pushed Yaneth and Miguel Angel out of the way, and then the saber passes through my right lung. But I didn’t wake up in that moment; then I truned around, but I didn’ see Marcela, I saw blood spilling over my neck and shoulder, I turned back again and I saw Marcela standing in front of me; she vanished, and I never saw her eyes again, I was crying out loud. What I saw wasn’t me then, for I saw again the same thing that was me, the transmutated beast, the marked one, but not only that. The damned shadow that haunts me always joined him, they united, it seemed like a fucking movie. His eyes were scarlet red, his pupills reflected a purple flame inside of them, his claws would scratch anything they touched with no complication. He fucking ran against the suposed Rafael, his movements sudden and swift, the wind cutting its waves through his arms, in one spin he swings hisclaws to cut his chest, I coul only watch that then; and then Yaneth grabbed and didn’t let go, she grabbed th monster; and watching how she stopped him, I felt sadness, because she almost could loose her life there, but the fuckin beast held up his arm, ready to strike down and kill her, I screamed with all my strenght and my cries were answered. Miguel Angel had stabbed through the hart of the beast, my impostor. But the wound was made from my body, and then I realize that I was bleeding too, before i fell down to the ground, I woke up, I ran to the bathroom mirror; nothing, nothing happened, but I felt a little pressure on my chest.

After this nightmare, I felt like everything was going to change. Something bad might happen, I am afraid that I could do something really bad to my friends and never be forgiven for it. I am afraid to see the story of my past be repeated again, I am afraid to see my “true” self, but I know I am not like that. For I am afraid to unleash all of my rage, I cannot fall into that, never, I must control mysel. If I ever try to do something like that, I would be so thankful if some one kills me before I do something stupid.

Behold for I am in fear of something besides my fobia, so rare. And I will try to get over it, for this nightmare has opened my eyes. I know I can control something thatdeep inside could turn into a monster, but I need my friends, I can’t do this alone.

Dicen que las fuerzas del mas alla solo pueden atacarte cuando estas vulnerable, pues esta vez estuve apunto de ver el infierno por mis propias manos, derramar mi sangre con mis propias causas, no creo que el infierno me hubiera tomado, si no el inframundo. Pero que sucedio? Por alguna razon las fuerzas de las tinieblas retrocedieron de mi. Tome un cable, era rapido la muerte, subita, entonces la clabe a la pared fuerte, me amarre, y salte; por un momento me lastimo, pero de alguna forma se rompio el cable, algo impidio que yo muriera. Sin titubear fui por un cuchillo, estaba dispuesto a atravezarme el corazon, pero algo me o impidio, me decia ami mismo”Que cobarde eres, por que no terminas con lo que comenzaste?”. Despues no podia seguir, y solo me rasgunie el pecho, pero estuve solo, me sentia muy solo sin nadie serca, queria que en ese momento todos me olvidaran. Cuando alguien especial en mi vida me hizo ver la verdad. Su nombre es Flor, y me djo que yo le importaba mas que nada en el mundo, y yo sentia lo mismo. Me hizo ver que aquellos que ao son mi razon de ser, y que mi familia debia comprender lo que sentia en ese momento. Me decidi a hablar, y porfin despues de tanto tiempo, recibi el primer abrazo de mi padre, no tan calido como cuando yo lo queria, pero ag es algo. Flor me levanto, pero lo que me di cuenta es fantastico. Hable con mi mejor amiga Karla, y ella me dijo que rezo por mi mucho. Entonces me di cuenta, que no era cosa cualquiera, no era cobardia lo que me impidio continuar, no era algo extranio lo del cable roto; sus oracines me protegieron y se lo agradesco. Hay ago aya afuera, yo lo se, contesto mis oraciones cuando orepor alguien que quiero, y sobretodo cuando queria sentir que alguien que quiero este bien cando pase al otro lado. Algo aya afuera esta dandome su luz al fin. Esto que digo lo digo con mi corazon, y quiero que sepan los que amo, que no es necesario que me quieran tanto, lo aprecio mucho, y me conmueve, y agradesco tener a personas tan especiales en mi vida. Agradesco que me han apoyado en mis momentos mas oscuros, y agradesco que todo lo que me ha pasado me ha forjado. Si, sere debil algunas veces, pero me hace mas fuerte. Yo tengo un corazon de acero, Calido por dentro, frio por fuera, cada herida una quemada que luego solda y oxida los sentimientos oscuros, pero al endurecerse se hace mas resistente ante las quemadas. Los amo a todos, y prometo que no volvere a hacer algo asi. Promesa rota, alma que se corta.

Maldtia sea, maldita sea. Como detesto mi sangre.

Puedo tomar ofenzas, puedo tomar castigos,

puedo tomar todo, menos una acusacion en la

cual me han dicho ser una persona invaluable

ante la vida misma. Que espero de personas que

son mi sangre, pero son tan bajas de linage que

verguenza me dan. Nadie, nadie me ha juzgado y

acusado mas terriblemente que mis propios

padres. Como desearia tener el valor, la frialdad,

la antimisericordia para hacerlos sufrir. Quiciera

arrancarle los ojos a mi padre con mis propias

manos, desmembrarlo miembro por miembro,

cortarle toda articulacion hasta ke suplique

piedad. Quicera arrancarle la cabeza a mi madre

de un jalon, y quemar su cabeza con aceite

hirviendo. Quiciera tomar mi pasado y volverlo a

mi para torturarlos a ellos, sobre todo a mi tia,

esa maldita perra sedimentaria y herminania, que

nunca ha conseguido una vida; es solo una bestia

mas tragando nuestro aire sin razon alguna.

Deberia atarla al piso y encajarle navajas en las

rodilla y codos. Deberia mutilar a todos los que

me han hecho sufrir, a todos los que me han

tratado como si tuviera una mentalidad muy baja.

Quiciera si pudiera tomar todos los deseos que

escribi; como si tuviera poderes, oho si pudiera

lastimar a alguien, o si tuviera la oportunidad de

cambiar alo. Todo eso lo quiero para una sola

razon… Matar, si, quiero matar, tengo deseos de

tomar a los mazones que me hicieron tantas

torturas y cortarlos en pedazos, y que sus familias

los vean. Y asi dejarlos ver como a sus familias las

mutilo lentamente. Quiciera quemar a mi familia,

quiciera destrozarlos fisica psicologica y

espiritualmente. Lo que deseo es destrozar sus

vidas y esperanzas, pero lo que quiciera mas, es

destruir mi vida. Toda persona que paso por mi y

me hizo creer que yo era importante. Basta!!

Quiero tomar una navaja y cortarles la lengua,

quiero cortarles todos los dedos y las piernas,

quiero que lloran y sufran hasta que ellos mismos

se quiten la vida para llegar al inframundo, un

lugar peor que el infierno. Por que? Por que dios

me haz dado pruebas? No necesito tus pruebas,

dices que los que mas merecen ir al cielo sufren

mas, pues no quiero tu plan. Solo desearia

tenerte serca para hacerte sufrir, quiciera mutilar

a tus hijos deseados, a Jesus que alegria que

murio crucificado, porque a ti te dolio hasta el

alma, eso, eso siento ahora. Por que no me

olvidas? Apartate de mi vida y quitame tus

cadenas. Yo se que tu no contestaste mis

oraciones, quien fue, quien maldita sea?!! Dios,

maldito ser enjuiciado. Te maldigo con cada

aliento que tengo. Como desearia hacer algo, pero

que lo vale? No soy nada, deberia tomar todo lo

que tengo y desmembrarme las venas, cortarme

la cabeza, arrancarme el corazon. Quitenme la

vida y dejame ya en paz, quien va a extraniarme?

Soy solo una persona sin valor alguno, no sere

mas que un recuerdo en el polvo de la vida. Pero,

me doleria no por la muerte, no le temo a la

muerte ni al infierno, no. Yo temo a que mis

amigos sufran por mi culpa, pero, enserio quiero

dejar esta vida. Seria mejor solo fingir una

sonriza, hacer que me odien y despues

despedirme de este mundo cruel y bajo.

No, no, no, no es suficiente, porfavor, que alguine

me encaje dolores insoportables, quiero sufrir,

quiero sentir la furia fuera de mi, quiero que las

llamas consuman mi piel hasta que no pueda mas.

Quiero que todo el poder que ese maldito

demonio me ensenio fuera dado a mis manos,

quiciera ser como el ahora, quiciera ser frio,

incontenible, sin piedad, quiero matar, destruir,

mutilar. No soy nadie, no soy nada, porfavor

tomame, llevate este alma demoniaca ahora!!!!!

Quitame de mi miseria, porfavor, deja que mis

amigos me olviden, quiero que no me vean como

alguien que vale la pena, quiero morir ya,

tomame, destruye mi persona, pero quitame de

mi miseria maldito dios demoniaco!!

Son of Giltya Lord of shadows,
Flying when the sky is hollow,
Rising from the scarlet morrow,
Bearing his long lasting sorrow,
Sorrow he cannot escape from,
Sorrow from which he will wake up,
The wings of pain can’t fly away,
From where he was he will remain,
The beast his fangs will draw to fight,
The wind with rage will brace his flight,
The Great Black Dragon flies tonight,
The final shadow shines its light,
The twilight raptor rides the wind,
Blood shall fall from his maddest meal,
Outrageous flame breathes from the vein,
This vein explodes long lasting pain,
The Dragon roars his last one roar,
For his last fight is nothing more,
His life, the skandinavian shore,
The great Black Dragon is no more.

I realize that screaming pain,
Hearing loud in my brain,
But i’m going straight ahead with the scar,
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
So am I,
Would you feel the way want to feel,
I cry to clean the sins,
When I see the dark I cry and scream for you to leave,
Why I like to be always with thee,
And see the way I see,
Sorrow cannot bear the damned and cursed hollow soul Oh!
And the I hear at last,
The shadows screaming loud,
I’ve gone out of control,
And then again realize,
That deep inside it was the lonely sound of wind,
I came to tell you one thing,
That all you have done is wrong,
The screming pain you have inside is just consuming you,
I can’t escape this feeling,
That is taking way too long,
But all that sorrow I have felt is now protecting you,
All the sorrow you have felt is now protecting you,
Can you hear me so am I?
Everytime you try to change my ways,
And I keep saying that I won’t,
Show me one and only one reason for coming back then,
And then the ground came in,
The sounds of pain and grudge,
You have felt over me,
And then it fade at last,
Can some one please come close and help me make me tame?
I came to tell you one thing,
That all you have done is wrong,
The screming pain you have inside is just consuming you,
I can’t escape this feeling,
That is taking way too long,
But all the sorrow you have felt before is now protecting you,
The sorrow now is taking care of you and then protecting you,
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me So am I
For all the blast of rage,
I want to fade away,
Your hand is taking me,
And now I feel the light,
Be free to say that all the time you have loved me,
I came to tell you one thing,
That all you have done is wrong,
The screming pain you have inside is just consuming you,
I can’t escape this feeling,
That is taking way too long,
And all the sorrow you have felt before is now fading away,
Can you just show me a sing,
That you have made up your mind,
So I came to say that I am proud for you to see the sign,
I can now see the big sign,
And feel now peace in my mind,
And now I come to you realizing that I don’t need the pain,
Now I see the sign that has shown me That I don’t need that pain,
The sorrow now is forgoten in the past and now protecting you,
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me so am I.

Esta pesadilla, he descubierto quien era el maldito ser que vi. Ya que fue por aver pasado por las puertas del infierno en Paris. Nunca crei posible tal cosa.
Estaba yo caminando lentamente hacia mi iglecia, sabia que me hiban a atacar, pero creia que eran los MS de la secundaria, vi solo una figura dentro del sacramental con techos blancos y ventanas rotas con grafitis en ellas. La figura me habla -Tu me llamaste Miguel, hijo de la luz marchita- Al principio no entendia eso, nunca lo entendi hasta ahora. Grite preguntando su nombre, el sueto se volteo y solo sonrio, recuerdo esos ojos verdes espectrales, esos colmillos rojos de sangre, su rostro maltratado de sarpazos, y solo me miraba como encajando desprecio a mi. Su mirada me punsaba, su riza maldita me hacia temblar, y entonces cuando se quita su manto negro, veo caras, caras de los que he querido, lamentos y gritos de dolor sollosientos son exclamados por ellos. Plumas vuelan en el aire, alas cubren mi alrededor, y entonces el me encaja sus garras en mi pecho; grito, lloro, pido piedad como si yo estuviera ahi. El me susurra al ohido.
-Sabes que deseas ser como yo, sabes que lo seras, no importa lo que hagas- Un terrible miedo me undio, no sabia a que se referia, y en ese momento queria despertar, pero no podia. La iglecia ardiendo en fuego, un cielo infernal se veia cuando el techo se derrumbaba, el viento traia el olor a quemado. Se sintio tan real, incluso cuando me golpeo con su cola, una cola con espinas sinigual; sus alas con plumas y escamas que resplandecen ante las flamas de la iglecia, por fin me rindo, quiero que me saque de mi miseria, imploro que se largue. Pero el solo me mira con una mirada punzante que hace que mi corazon duela.
-Nunca escaparas-
Me dijo, y porfin desperte. Totalmente espantado, lo peor de todo es que me ardia el pecho, todo sucedio como un estigma. Sentia el aroma a cenizas, la esencia a maldad en mi cuarto y mi dolor sin salirse. Nunca pude volver a dormir trankilo, hasta porfin crecer, el olvido me salvo, pero cada noche sentia esa presencia conmigo, cerraba los ojos y veia un rostro cada vez que entreabria mi ojo que no se recostaba con la almohada. Tenia miedo de mirar y eso siguio y siguio. Pensar que cuando estudie mas el mazonismo supe mas, descubri hace unos meses que beelzebu se podia aparecer a aquellos que han abierto la Ouija, lehido la ultima pagina de ese libro el cual queme al enterarme de esto, y sobretodo lo que yo cometi y si fue el. Leer los versos de la puerta del infierno lo convoco. San Rafael puede aparecer en florencia, y San Miguel tambien, pues a mi me aparecio Beelzebu, el senior de las moscas, la muerte, el miedo de todos los seres de la noche y la oscuridad. He visto al peor de los demonios y ahora comprendo porque le temia hasta el cansancio, me hablo este demonio, nunca lo imagine asi, ni sabia que era el, y ahora que lo se me siento basura, aterrado, humillado, siempre admire a este demonio por su poder y voluntad. Ahora siento que no meresco ni el merece que nos hayamos visto. Si solo fue por los versos que lehi, pero se que por alguna razon empeze a interesarme mas en ese demonio. Por algo ahora odio a mi tocayo San Miguel, por algo, por alguna razon me dijo que seria como el. Solo desearia sacarme esta memoria horrible. Pero agradesco descubrirlo antes que fuera muy tarde, ahora se que debo evitar hacer cualquier mal en mi vida, o podria ser peor; no lo se pero no lo quiero averiguar.

Una pesadilla que escribirla me da miedo, es esta. Entro a mi cuarto, y las paredes estan llenas de telaranias, redes repugnantes caen sobre mis hombros; al caminar algo me jala, y veo una arania gigantesca, con muchos ojos rojos, fauces verdes y espectrales, sus patas como sables que se encajan en mi pecho abriendolo. Despues veo a mis padres ser devorados por la maldita bestia. Imposible, no puedo hacer nada, me siento impotente; y mas aranias aparecen, todas devorandome lentamente, hasta que la madre cae sobre mi, entonces me levanto y prendo las luces. Nunca senti mas miedo en ese entonces. Por eso tengo una fobia a las aranias que no soy capaz nisiquiera de mover un musculo al verlas en mi espacio vital. Lo que daria por tener el valor de siquiera poder pasar serca de una y no sentirme amenazado.